You need to log in to create posts and topics.

I Lost My Fiance ...

I do not even know where to begin! In June my fiance (29 years old) had a breakdown, stress, anxiety was even talking suicide. We have been dating since 2009 and in 2017 he proposed. he had our ups and downs but we were happy and in love. He went to see a therapist and ultimately was put on Lexapro. He started the medication in July and although I was against it I started to see a calmer more affectionate guy and started to be more comfortable with the medication.

I thought everything was wonderful until about a month ago. I found a secret email, which led to me finding out about a 3 month affair he had been having with a 19 year old. Secret cell phone, email, girlfriend. I met the girl and she told me everything and even cried. She told me he had told her I was an ex from September and that I was crazy going around telling people I was his fiance and that if I ever contacted her to avoid me because I was a liar. She of course believed him and finally spoke with me after I sent her a picture of us from New years with the 2017 balloons. She said she then realized he was lying. He claimed he had no emotions, knew it was wrong but did not feel remorseful. I got a few apologies mostly via text but even the ones in person he sounds like he doesn’t even mean them. I even attempted to try to work it out with him and he told me he has no feelings for me, he cannot even say he ever loved me. He said the medication made him think clearly and he doesn't want this relationship and felt like he was in a coma for the past ten years. He stopped the medication about 2 weeks ago cold turkey. He said he felt like he no longer needed the pills and did not even want to talk to his doctors about the situation. We have been in contact a few times but he is not showing any signs of wanting to fix this. He even met another girl and is now “dating” her. He told me he cares about her and does not want me to ruin it for him. I cannot believe this person is who I was with. No remorse, no guilt, no shame. He says he doesn’t love me, doesn’t know what love is but he appreciates me standing by him through everything. His actions were completely unlike him and the fact that he started the affair within two months of starting Lexapro makes me want to believe that it was the medication.

I guess my questions are:

Do you think this was the medication? I do

Do you think him getting off it so quickly he will go back to himself or no? I want to be hopeful but at the same time with all he has done its hard

Do you think he will ever be himself again?

PLEASE HELP!

If the personality change happened after the Lexapro, then it's the Lexapro. Now, cold turkey isn't easy and can take time to recover from, so that is still in the mix. Now, will he return to "normal" is a question that no one can answer. Some do and have serious remorse other, never see what the drug has done.

In your case, it's to soon to tell what the outcome will be. Sadly, we see this a lot.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." MLK
Quote from Scott on January 10, 2019, 9:59 pm

If the personality change happened after the Lexapro, then it's the Lexapro. Now, cold turkey isn't easy and can take time to recover from, so that is still in the mix. Now, will he return to "normal" is a question that no one can answer. Some do and have serious remorse other, never see what the drug has done.

In your case, it's to soon to tell what the outcome will be. Sadly, we see this a lot.

Thank You for the feedback. I just don't know what to do at this point I have tried to explain to him the effects but he says it's the first time he thinks clearly. When you say a long time is it years or months?

He was on 20 and 10 mg dosages from July - February the doctor had originally told him he needs 18 months but he felt differently and decided to stop after we broke up.

WorriedFiance,

I am not an expert in medicine etc, but I have done countless research etc... If he has already quit C/T, it may actually be a blessing. It's so hard to get medicated minds to accept they need to quit. C/t is the worst way to come off just about, however, HE IS OFF... ..

Now, my ex wife of 11 years started 20 mg of Citalopram. 3 months later, she was changed completely. Lying, drinking, drugs, abandoning our daughter in a lock house alone while she was 2 years old so she could go party and get high etc.

7 months later, we're divorced and she allegedly quits almost c/t. It's not a year out almost exactly from a 4 week taper. (one drop in dosage) and she quit completely. 2 weeks after divorce, she changed her FB status from married, to in a relationship with her manchild. He was 19 at the time an she's 29 almost 30 now. So they were rumored to be engaged / married in 3 or 4 months. Now having a ceremony and she's still just as phugged up in the head as ever. No more mania, partying etc... but she still thinks what she did was all ok and stuff. Never once has she shown any remorse for anything, the cheating, stealing, lying etc. She killed our new business we started and we lost EVERYTHING.. from clothes, to bedroom suites, trailers, etc. ALL OF IT! Because we lived there...$60k down the drain, does she act like it bothers her? no.

My point? Buckle up. That's all I can say. Good luck to you.

MDBAD.COM